Love is painful . But it is also wonderful. Words cannot express how much effort I put into "love" my hearts aches for you and slowly dies because of your absence in my life. I hate you so much for leaving me like I never meant anything to you. I hate you for all the nights I wondered were you faithful to me. But yet I still love you. Its Strange right? I can't explain love , but I can't be without it. I will always love you. You were my first REAL love . You told me I was "the one" . Am I still ? Do you love her more than me ? Some nights I wish you would call & tell me let's forget about the past and start a new future together " other times I wish you would just feel pain that you caused me . Yet I cry because I kno too many words have been exchanged between us & things will never be the same ... see I need you. & I gotta have you back but shit fuck you & that garbage bitch you claim. Man maybe I'm weak . Maybe I need a man to love in my life in my fathers absence. I don't know. I ask God to guide me & bring me a good man. & you know what ? He did. But that nigga ain't YOU . So guess what he's not good enough. Not the one I need . & that's fucked up but hey , you own my heart. Not being corny bein honest. & I feel like me & you should have never ended. Fuck the world . Fuck school drama . It's all over now. So now what ? Lets build this foundation from the ground up again because my heart is ready for another round . I love you & I hate you. Come back because I'm not gone forget you & I'm definitely not gonna forget how we started. 💔💔